Article Description
“Could it be that I’m the only one having a bad time?” If you feel this way, it’s an important SOS from your heart. This article explains the signs that kids themselves can recognize as “this might be bullying,” including changes in relationships with friends and in your body and mind. It also offers hints for how to get through a tough situation.
Common Examples of Bullying at School
Bullying at school comes in many forms. Here are some common examples.
- Physical Attacks:
- Violent acts like hitting, kicking, or pinching.
- Harassment involving possessions, like hiding or breaking them.
- Verbal Attacks:
- Insults and teasing.
- Threats, harassing phone calls, or emails.
- The silent treatment or social exclusion.
- Slander and defamation on social media.
- Psychological Attacks:
- Intentionally ignoring someone as a group.
- Excluding someone from a group.
- Removing someone from a social media group.
- Spreading rumors.
- Deliberately causing someone to fail.
- Sexual Harassment:
- Making obscene comments.
- Unwanted physical contact.
- Cyberbullying:
- Slander and defamation in social media or chat apps.
- Publishing private photos without permission.
- Impersonating someone online.
What Are Verbal Attacks, Posts, and Defamation?
These are acts that mentally harm someone or tarnish their social reputation. Specifically, they include the following:
- Direct Insults and Personal Attacks
- Using derogatory words about someone’s appearance or character, such as “stupid,” “fat,” “ugly,” “gross,”or “go die.”
- Words that deny a person’s existence, like “You’re a nuisance” or “I wish you would disappear.”
- Spreading False Rumors and Lies
- Saying, “I heard (name) stole something.”
- Saying, “I heard (name) is having an affair.”
- Saying, “(name) talks bad about everyone.”
- Spreading lies like these can isolate someone and make them lose credibility. Even if you post it as “just a rumor,” it can still be considered defamation.
- Doxing (Sharing Personal Information)
- Publicly sharing someone’s real name, address, phone number, or photos online without their permission.
- Exposing a person’s social media account name and encouraging a group to attack them.
- Harassment and Threats
- Life-threatening words like “I hope you die” or “I’m going to kill you.”
- Threatening messages like, “I’m going to leak your personal information.”
- Intentionally saying insults loudly so that only a specific person can hear them.
- Online Harassment
- Impersonating someone to post problematic content (e.g., creating a fake profile with a phone number and writing, “Looking for a boyfriend” or “Call me, I’m bored”).
- Unilaterally removing someone from a LINE group.
- Editing and combining a person’s photos without their permission and posting them on social media.
These acts are a form of verbal and cyberbullying that can cause deep emotional wounds. Bullying is defined by how the victim feels. Even if the bully says, “I was just joking,” if the other person is hurt, it is still bullying.
Signs of Bullying: Points for Kids to Notice Themselves
Here are some signs that you might be experiencing bullying.
Signs in Your Heart and Body
- You don’t want to go to school: You feel sick at the thought of going to school or seeing certain people.
- You get easily irritated: You get angry or cry over small things, even when you’re doing something you like.
- You get stomachaches or can’t sleep: You feel sick to your stomach before school or wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep.
Signs in Your Relationships with Others
- You are ignored or excluded: Your group stops talking to you or playing with you.
- You are called names: People say things like “gross” or “stupid” to your face.
- You are removed from social media groups: You find out people are talking badly about you or spreading rumors when you’re not around.
- Your things are hidden or broken: You can’t find your belongings, or they turn up damaged.
Ask Yourself These Questions
- “Am I being forced to do something I don’t want to do?” This can happen if you’re forced to go along with something just because “everyone else is doing it.”
- “Is the other person laughing when they say something mean, but I don’t think it’s funny at all?”
- “Did I ask them to stop, but they didn’t?” This is a sign that teasing or harassment is continuing even after you’ve expressed that you don’t like it.
If any of these signs sound familiar, it might be bullying. The most important thing is how you feel about it. Don’t suffer alone. Talk to a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, or school counselor.
Signs of Bullying: Points for Parents to Notice
When you feel that your child might be experiencing bullying, here are some things to watch for.
Changes in Behavior
- They don’t want to go to school: They complain of a stomachache or other physical symptoms to avoid going to school. They get suddenly quiet before school. They start avoiding conversations about school, certain teachers, or friends.
- They become withdrawn: They stop talking to family members and stay in their room. They lose interest in things they used to love, like video games, hobbies, or sports.
- Changes in their belongings: Their pens, textbooks, or shoes frequently go missing or come back broken. Their clothes and other belongings are often dirty when they get home.
- They ask for money frequently: They ask for more allowance or money for various reasons.
Physical Changes
- Unexplained injuries or sickness: They have unexplained bruises or cuts. They lose their appetite or can’t sleep. They frequently complain of headaches or stomachaches.
- They become overly concerned with their appearance: They want to wash their clothes or body even when they are not dirty. They suddenly want to change their hairstyle or clothes.
Mental Changes
- Emotional swings: They get angry or cry over small things. They seem constantly anxious or tense.
- Loss of confidence: They start saying negative things about themselves like, “I’m useless anyway…” They become extremely afraid of failure.
These signs can also be caused by other issues or adolescent worries. However, if you see multiple signs or notice they are acting differently than usual, the best first step is to ask, “What’s wrong?” and listen to them.
